I Need a Hero

Dear Prince Matchabelli,

Is it true that “Everyone Needs a Hero?” I mean just because Bonnie Tyler claims “I need a Hero” doesn’t mean it’s true for everyone. I’ve heard a rumor that Brut is the Essence of Man . . . I thought that “For Every Man Who Wears Brut There’s a Woman Who Loves What He Smells Like.”

Look . . . whatever man, I’m not here to judge, I’m just trying to get people to decide what superhero best represents them and so far, old ladies think that they are The Hulk, and little boys want to be Wonder Woman but then again, who doesn’t? So anyway, I gotta go . . . Pooh is in the bag again, and he can’t breathe and there’s no more honey.